Throughout this pregnancy, I've been attempting to keep up with a journal to hopefully one day give to our baby. I wanted to show the baby Trevor and I during and after the pregnancy. So far it includes important dates, such as; when we found out we were pregnant, the crazy pregnancy dreams I have had, and the day we had found out the gender.
I wanted the baby to have an idea of who we were before we were pregnant, and I wanted to include stories about the babys older brother. I never want to neglect the fact that our family grew once before and now is a family of four.
2012 had been one crazy year, life and death. Although that's normal, when there is life there is always death, I just didn't think it could be so fast. Today would've been my grandpa's birthday, he had passed away in November and we all got a glimpse of a truely happy man. He had gone through a lot and triumphed over all. He was a man many people were blessed to know, and his personality could make even the angriest person smile. My grandma is having an extremely hard time, anybody who reads this please send happy thoughts her way and please pray for her to find peace.
December 27th 2012, it was just an ordinary day at work, and I was attempting to focus on a customer's issue. I was so spacey that day I could've been talking to Mark Walberg for all I knew. I had a lot on my mind, and couldn't seem to focus. Yuh see, I knew something felt different about my body, and for the past couple of weeks I hadn't been feeling normal, atleast my sense of normal. I went down to the nurses station. I had thought, "If something is seriously wrong with me I'll make an appointment with the Doctors first thing, but not until the nurses here tell me I should."
When I went down into my work's nursing station, I had mentioned my concern about not feeling very well. Considering how I was two weeks late on my period, the nurse was concerned for me as well. Luckily they had pregnancy tests on hand for moments like this one and I wanted to know before any New Years Eve parties. She attempted to distract me while the test was developing but we all know that although it's only two to three minutes it still feels like hours.
When I saw those two pink lines develop on the test, my heart skipped a beat. I instantly was so excited, tears of joy started streaming from my face. I went back to work with the biggest grin luckily nobody seemed to notice too much. I wanted Trevor to be the next person who found out, but I couldn't keep it a secret. I called my dad right after work and told him I had some interesting news. Since he's my dad and has known me my entire life my tone of voice gave it away, and he was able to guess it on the first try.
I had told him not to tell a soul until after we get through the first trimester. The reason for this being, after Zadkiel passed away our doctor mentioned that we may get pregnant relatively fast. When that happens, chances of a miscarriage are extremely high. Plus we just weren't ready for the questions.
As soon as I got confirmation that I was pregnant I started brainstorming on how I should tell Trevor. I had thought since Christmas had just been a couple of days prior I should incorporate that in somehow. I put the positive test in a box and wrapped it up tight and placed it on the table ready for him to open. As soon as he had gotten through the door I had mentioned while I was cleaning I found a present I had forgotten to give to him on Christmas.
The look on his face was priceless, the first word he had said was, "Oh!" Naturally we were both excited about having our second child, but soon began to wonder if what had happened to Zadkiel would happen again for his younger sibling. We started thinking of all of the possibilities and wondered what we could do to make this pregnancy go by as smoothly as possible. We first started to eat extremely healthy, took out any unnecessary stress, and made sure that I was as comfortable as possible.
We had only mentioned it to our closest friends and few family members. They were all in shock and didn't know what to say, but they all lifted up their glasses New Years Eve at 12:00 am and wished us the best of luck.