Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Trying to stay positive.

It's strange to think that I'm finally turning 21...

Everything that has occurred this year has made me believe that I'm far older than the number of years I've literally lived on this planet.

I find myself thinking to myself of what life might have turned out to be if a couple of actions never happened. If family didn't sweep the problems under the rug and hang on to every grudge until their very last breath, maybe there would be more laughter... perhaps a deeper love. If the truth really did set you free and blood was really thicker than water... than what? Maybe we would maintain the truth instead of hide behind the lies. However, I could play the what if game all day long, it still wouldn't change what has happened. Things just seem to pile on and pile on, but the good seems to bring me back.

Nowadays I am attempting not to take control of everything, I'm attempting to not stress out, and learn how to let go. It's harder some days rather than others, but it's worth a shot. I know if I continue on with the worries of the world, whether they're financial or personal, it can honestly kill me from the inside out.

One thing that blows my mind every time, is that whenever I feel like things are going okay and everybody is healthy, I'm instantly thrown a curve ball. For instance I found out a couple of  months ago that my Grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer. Than a couple of days ago my parent's had informed me that my Grandpa has less than 6 months to live. The family out in California is being extremely optimistic, but I can't help but worry. I know that worrying doesn't solve anything, but it's hard to stop your mind from thinking worse case scenario.

I love my Grandpa so much. For as long as I can remember, whenever I'd walk into his house and ask him how he'd be doing, without fail he would always quickly return with "I'm doing better than some, not as good as others." When I had first heard him say that I didn't quite understand what he was saying, because I was really little. I eventually caught on to his concept. He can't complain about his life and the loved ones in his life. Being truely content doesn't necessarily mean living comfortabley financially or having an extremely attractive partner in life. It means having the capability to enjoy the things in life even the small and seamingly meaningless things.

^^ Mikey...Grandpa...Me ^^

Sunday, July 29, 2012

West Coast Road Trip

  While I was in Washington, David passed and I was told about my Grandfather. Jazzy, Ashley and I made a plan to take a road trip. We would meet up in California, spend a couple days there, and than drive up to Washington. Spend a couple days in Washington and then Trev and I would drive back to Utah.

  I was set on this trip, slowly but surely things started to try and stop us. For instance Trevor's car accident, my insurance throwing me through the loop, and drama unfolding at every turn. I than just started to ignore the negative and focus souly on the positive. We saved the money but needed an extra driver, that's when our good buddy Vernon came into play.

  July 5th rolled around and we three were off to the races.

Trevor took the first shift in driving, and we soon felt like nascar drivers.

Utah's sunset

  We headed straight for my grandparents house and arrived at 1:30am, settled down and crashed. We three woke up to the yummiest smell in the entire world!! GRANDMA'S COOKIN! It was nice to be around family again, we spent the whole day exploring the mall and forcing Vernon to be our entertainment. Ah the things Vernon will do...

  The next day was Family Dinner day, grandma, grandpa, auntie Jenny, cousin Jenine, mom, dad, Mike, Bre, and princess Peyton all arrived. We got to catching up and took as many pictures as possible.

Trevor, Peyton and I

Bre, Dad, Peyton and I

Mike, Peyton, Bre and I

Mike, Grandpa and I

Jenine, Mike and I

Auntie Jenny and I

Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Mike and I

  The day was filled with hugs and kisses, one by one every body slowly left. Trevor Vernon and I all hopped back into the car and headed to our next destination, Katy's birthday party.

Sissy and I

Yes Katy did grow with wisdom, look at that face! How could you deny it.

  The next day we went to my parents house to pick up some of Trevor and my things. Well mainly my stuff, I forgot how much stuff I really own. Afterwards went to my Uncles Tony's house and visited with him, Mike, Uncle John, Dad, Vernon and Trevor.

  The next day Mike and I were the first to wake up, we fell asleep on cement floors so we felt a little older than we should. We went outside to find Vernon and Trevor passed out in the car and dad passed out in his car. We thought we'd wake up dad and take him to McDonald's and have a little more family time. Dad and I switched cars for the day so we would be able to fit two more body's in the car. We ran to pick up my high school buddy Joshy, and than sped over to the beach for what we planned to be a friendly bonfire.

Joshy, Vernon and I

Dad later showed up with an umbrella.

Good thing too because we were there for 12 hours, and Trevor had a little to much sun.

Pops and I


A lot of Trevor's high school friends showed up, and they hated to say good-bye

  One thing I never mentioned was that Trevor and I had a deal, that while on this trip we would go to every important spot and scatter a little bit of Zad's ashes. The beach we had our bonfire at was the very same beach Trevor asked me to be his girlfriend at, same place at sunset.

  We got back to Katy's to find out Trevor was as red as a lobster, we thought maybe it'd go down in the morning. Trevor and Vernon crashed, I stayed up to get or gear in order and thankfully snagged a couple hours of sleep, while Mike stayed up all night. Morning came and Trevor's sunburn got worse, apparently he didn't reapply the sunscreen and his gift was a second degree sun burn. We still threw Trevor and Vernon in the back seat while Mike gave me directions and I drove. We left California by 3:30 am.

Vernon and Trevor cuddling on the way to Washington

Driving through the fog, about to head through the grape vine.

Scattered some of Zad's ashes at Pismo Beach

Scattered some more at Avila Beach

Mike and Zad at Avila

  You've heard of cabin fever, well this is what car fever does to a person. When you drive together as long as we had, all squished together, boundaries go out the window. Vernon made that perfectly clear when he felt like he needed to change up hs wardrobe.

  We drove all day only stopping for the necessities. Trevor was in complete agony the entire drive, we had to repeatedly put what we had on his legs, arms, face, and ears to keep him semi comfortable. From California to Washington is about a 21 hour drive. Between Trevor's legs, and stopping at a couple beach's on the way we made it in 26 hours. Drove through the Grape Vine and down through Oregon's Canyons. Thought we would die a couple times, but that's what makes an adventure.
Washington Sunrise
On our journey's we saw the unthinkable, a two story Carl's Jr.

 And they said Video games fry your brain, well let's put that to the test. Levi's face says it all.

Journey to Seattle

Mike, Jazzy and Vernon

Seattles piggy bank

The Gum Wall (yes al those things you see are individual pieces of gum)

He's heavier than he looks folks!

The signs you see walking around Seattle

Pikes Place

Jazzy, Me, Mike, Vernon, and Trevor all at Seattle

Scattered some of Zad's ashes on the boardwalk of pikes place, 
while Mike looked out for the cops

 Trevor was so tired from touring Seattle

We were able to look at our old house, and found our families hand prints

Nikki and I

Visiting the Brotts

Jazzy, Mikey, Me, and Arielle
doing a line up.

Michael, Michaela, Arielle and I

 Snoqualmie Falls; Trevor could barely walk after all of the walking about.

   This whole trip from the beginning was a bit chaotic, but that's how amazing memories are made.